Tips for a Worn Out Mom

housekeeping

housekeeping – I love irony! (Photo credit: karamchedu)

Part of the purpose of this blog is to remind us women – Moms, especially – that we are God’s masterpieces, even in the midst of fighting children, car troubles and peanut butter smeared on the walls.  This gem has shown up on my Facebook stream twice, and it’s a wonderful reminder of OUR reality versus that Pinterest fantasy.

1. Lower your standards for cleanliness and order.

2. Did that? Lower them even more.

3. Your house will never look like a magazine spread, period. Embrace that.

4. No matter how many baskets you buy to contain toys, they will always be visible. Embrace the Toys ‘R Us/ frat house-chic decor.

5. You can never have too many Popsicle in the freezer. How many bad moods have been fixed by a simple Popsicle?

6. If you can’t change them, change your perspective. For example I read recently – probably on Satan’s website Pinterest – that toothpaste is great for cleaning things like faucets. So now when I go into the bathroom every day and see toothpaste splatter all over the bathroom faucet I think about how my children have done half the chore of cleaning for me. How considerate of them! Then I wipe it off while cursing.

7. Those chores that no one ever wants to do. Decide if you would rather do it yourself, badger your child to it, or let it go. If you are confused about what to do, see Number 1 on this list.  (My best friend recently asked how I deal with the clutter in the house.  I told him I can yell at everyone else to help pick up, do it myself, or live with the clutter.)

8. No one cares what is stuffed under your child’s bed, why should you. Unless it is old food. In that case, you should get a dog.

9. If you have boys, your bathroom will always faintly stink like pee. Invest in some Febreeze and count down the days until they move out and you can go visit them and pee on their bathroom floor.

10. Don’t buy white furniture. Unless you enjoy screaming at your children every time they go near it.

11. However bad a situation might seem, one day it will be funny. I have a few for which I am eagerly awaiting for the funny to kick in. Any time now….

12. When your child is a young teen there will be nothing more embarrassing than your very existence. Use this to your advantage. Start planning early.

13. Do not paint any walls in your house with flat paint.

14. Be okay with letting your kids stumble sometimes. Whether that is turning in an assignment late because they didn’t do it or wearing an outfit so hideous you have trouble looking at them without laughing.

15. Noise cancelling headphones are great for blocking out whining, bickering and the endless episodes of Sponge Bob.

16. Socks do not have to match. Every day is Crazy Sock Day at my house, which is infinitely better than Crazy Mom Day.  (I think this is my favorite tip, because socks get divorced in our house daily!)

17. The crayons will break and it is okay to throw them away rather then save them to make some sort of craft that involves the hair dryer. In fact, I give you permission to not feel guilty about all the crafts you know you will never do.

18. Your children will not die from eating the occasional hot dog or frozen pizza. And by occasional I mean more than you are really willing to admit.

19. If your children are driving you crazy arguing with each other, start an argument with them. Then your children will bond over their mutual hatred of you and be quiet.  (I need to remember this one for days like yesterday.)

20. Children do not appreciate top sheets or high thread counts. Buy neither.

21. Homework time is the worst time of the day. Help your kids and yourself by having a designated time and a quiet place to do homework. Preferably in a neighbor’s home.

22. Just say No to ironing.  (Hanging it in the bathroom while I shower is a GREAT way to avoid ironing.)

23. Last, but not least, some chocolate and some really bad TV makes everything seem a little better.  (Or dark chocolate and ridiculously funny TV – perfect for de-stressing.)

A lot of us moms see the pictures in the magazine spreads and on Pinterest, and we strive for those picture-perfect houses.  Right now, I’m looking at a level of clutter in our living room which is driving me nuts and which we’ll have to work on today.  I extend to myself the grace not to have a picture-perfect house, because I have happy, intelligent, well-adjusted children who feel free to live joyfully in this home which belongs to them, too.

Which of these tips spoke to you the most?  Can you give yourself the grace to have a cluttered home?

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3 responses to “Tips for a Worn Out Mom

  1. This is so funny……and true! And thank you for visiting my blog-I’m just a baby blogger so I really appreciate it. http://daysofgrace3.wordpress.com/

    Like

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